Singlehood and the Body

I want to continue our conversation on how we create community and cause our church to function as the people of Christ.

One of the questions that Duin brings up in her book (Quitting Church) is the question of relevance. She argues that many of the buster/Gen Y generations see church as simply irrelevant to their lives. One of the stats that she discusses is the place of Singles within Christianity.

As many of you know this is a big topic for me. Having worked with Singles' ministry in the past (and having been a single minister) I am conscious of the problem: singles simply have very little place in the church. We argue that they DO have a place and a function, but let's be honest: how many sermons do you hear on the joys of singleness? How many of our sermons are devoted to having a great marriage, a great home, being great parents? These are some of the things that singles do not experience. They are told that singleness is a gift from God, but they also get the subtle hint that no one else really wants this gift. If singleness is a gift, they are wondering where they can exchange it!

The problems are infinite: They are struggling with feelings of loneliness, lack of intimacy, sexual desires, and they feel like the church is the LAST place they can turn. Many of them want to be married, yet they aren't quite sure where to go to meet people. It doesn't seem to be at church. They want to connect with God and with others, but most feel like second-class citizens.

No one wants to talk about Paul's dedication to singleness from Corinthians, or the fact that Jesus himself was single. We dedicate so few resources to this age group, yet they are a significant percentage of our society and our churches. Households with only one person (or single-parent households) are the largest percentage in America: 50.2% of America's population is in this category. Yet how much of our emphasis in church is directed to this age group? It's no wonder that singles are the largest percentage of people missing from church. (That 18-25 category.)

How do we go about giving singles a place in our communities of faith? How can we conscientiously provide a place for singles that is nurturing and caring? How can we be the Family that God has called us to be? What are your thoughts?