Faith and Doubt

Can we have doubt and still have faith? The question has plagued many a good Christian for years. If I have doubts, do I still have faith? Does God understand and still love me even when I wonder about his existence, his goodness, his mercy?

In essence, is it ok to doubt?

One of the people I admire most is Mother Teresa. She spent her lifetime caring for the sick, destitute, and distraught in the slums of Calcutta, India. We admire her for her beautiful faith and her adherence to Christ. Yet here's what's amazing: Mother Teresa lived in a sea of doubt.

She penned these words to Christ at the request of her confessor:

Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love — and now become as the most hated one — the one — You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone ... Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart.

Imagine how she must have felt. She was surrounded by abject poverty and debilitating disease. She lived in the midst of incredible pain. As she viewed the world, she was forced to wonder if God existed. Yet she never wavered, never gave up hope. She lived out Paul's admonition: hardpressed but not crushed, beat down but not in despair...

Can we have doubt and still be a Christian? Absolutely!

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in Mark 9. In Mark 9 a man brings his demon possessed son to the disciples. He is at the end of his rope; his son has been this way since he was born. He has no hope because nothing else has ever worked. And even Jesus' disciples can't drive out the demon.

The father comes to Jesus as his last hope. Maybe, just maybe, he will be able to do something. He asks if Jesus can, will he heal his son. Jesus replies, "If you can? Everything is possible to he who believes!"

The father's reply is my favorite: "I do believe! But help me in my unbelief." How amazing is his response?!? The father feels exactly as many of us feel. We believe, we have faith, we know God is God. Yet we still have these nagging doubts, these back-of-the-mind fears. We aren't quite sure we believe like we say we believe.

Can I tell you a secret? THAT'S OK! Pray the father's prayer: "I do believe, but help me in my unbelief." As we wrestle with our doubts and fears, we come to realize that doubt is part of the process of faith. As theologian Paul Tillich tells us, " Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith."

The greatest heroes of faith lived with doubt. God called Abraham at age 75 and told him he would give him a son; however, Isaac didn't arrive on the scene until Abraham was 100. You can't tell me that Abraham didn't doubt. Read the story with doubt in mind: Abraham is always trying to fulfill God's promise in his own way. He makes Lot his heir, then his manservant, then has a child with Hagar... Abraham might have had faith in God, but he surely had doubt as well.

Faith isn’t about simply accepting things because it is what is expected of you or because it is what you have always been told. Faith isn’t blind acceptance; however, it does involve a level of blindness because we cannot see the One we have faith in. Instead, faith is about a daily wrestling with the facts of life and the Truth of God.

What are your thoughts?